Endings can be difficult.

Catherine Teale MBACP 16/07/2025

Goodbye...and Hello...

Sometimes things come to an end and that's ok...

Endings are a natural part of life, and while they can be difficult to navigate, they are also essential for growth and transformation.

Endings can be challenging and often evoke a complex array of emotions. We might feel frustration as we grapple with the sudden changes in our lives. Disappointment may wash over us when we realise that things did not unfold as we had hoped or planned. Resentment can creep in as we question the fairness of the situation, and sadness may linger, reminding us of what we have lost. These feelings are entirely valid; they are a testament to our investment in the experiences we have had. Sometimes, these endings do not occur by our own choice or design; rather, life can intervene in unexpected ways, leading to abrupt conclusions that leave us reeling. In such instances, we might feel as if we did not deserve the ending we were handed, and that feeling of injustice can be particularly hard to bear. However, it is crucial to recognise that many aspects of life are beyond our control, and accepting this reality is the first step toward healing.

What we can do, instead of dwelling on the pain of these endings, is to use them as a catalyst for personal growth and learning. Each ending, whether anticipated or unforeseen, presents us with an opportunity to reflect on our experiences and the lessons they impart. By embracing the notion that every conclusion can lead to new beginnings, we can start to shift our perspective from one of loss to one of potential. This shift is not always easy, but it is a powerful way to reclaim our narrative.

Accepting adversity and being able to learn and grow from it is a vital skill in navigating the complexities of life. With endings that we did not want or foresee, we have the chance to engage in deep self-reflection. This process allows us to examine our feelings and thoughts, leading to greater self-awareness. It encourages us to look at alternative perspectives, helping us to understand that while we may feel hurt or abandoned, there are lessons to be learned in every situation. By focusing on what we can control, our reactions, our thoughts, and our future choices-we empower ourselves to move forward with resilience and strength.

The Challenge of Unanswered Questions

What about all those unanswered questions that swirl around in our minds, creating a whirlwind of uncertainty and doubt? These questions can be about our personal lives, the world around us, or even the mysteries of existence itself. They often linger, nagging at our consciousness, making it difficult to find peace or clarity. The human mind is naturally curious, driven to seek answers and understand the complexities of life. Yet, there are instances where we encounter questions that seem to have no clear resolution, leaving us feeling frustrated and bewildered.

The Struggle to Comprehend

How can we let go of the things we cannot understand or comprehend? This is a profound inquiry that touches on the essence of human experience. In a world filled with ambiguity, it is common to grapple with feelings of helplessness when faced with unanswered questions. We may find ourselves caught in a cycle of overthinking, replaying scenarios in our minds, and searching for explanations that may never come. This struggle can lead to anxiety and a sense of stagnation, as we become fixated on things beyond our control.

As much as we want to control our situations and destinations, sometimes we just can't. Life is inherently unpredictable, filled with unexpected twists and turns that can challenge our plans and aspirations. Despite our best efforts to meticulously plan every detail, there are factors beyond our influence that can alter the course of our journey in profound ways. Whether it’s unforeseen circumstances such as a sudden job loss, a health crisis, or even global events that reshape our environment, we often find ourselves at the mercy of forces we cannot command. This lack of control can evoke a range of emotions, from frustration and anxiety to acceptance and resilience. It forces us to confront the reality that, while we can set goals and strive towards them, the path to achieving those goals may not always unfold as we envision. Embracing this uncertainty can be a daunting task, yet it also presents an opportunity for growth and adaptation. When we learn to navigate the unpredictability of life, we cultivate flexibility and creativity in our responses to challenges. We begin to appreciate the beauty of spontaneity and the lessons that come from unexpected detours. In doing so, we discover new passions, forge deeper connections with others, and develop a richer understanding of ourselves. Ultimately, while we may not have control over every aspect of our lives, we do have the power to choose how we respond to the situations we encounter, shaping our experiences in meaningful ways.

The Art of Letting Go 

Learning to let go is a skill that requires practice and patience. It is not merely about dismissing our questions or pretending they do not exist; rather, it involves recognising their presence and choosing to release the grip they have on our emotional well-being. This process can be incredibly challenging, as it often requires us to confront our fears and insecurities. We must acknowledge that some questions may remain unanswered, and that’s perfectly okay. We can recognise and accept our emotions. Our feelings are valid and deserve to be acknowledged.

Embracing Acceptance

Sometimes, all we can do is just let go, breathe in, and breathe out, embracing the act of acceptance. Acceptance does not mean resignation; instead, it is an active choice to acknowledge the uncertainty of life and the limitations of our understanding. By practicing mindfulness and focusing on the present moment, we can cultivate a sense of calm amidst the chaos of unanswered questions. Taking deep breaths can serve as a grounding technique, allowing us to reconnect with our bodies and the world around us.

Moving Forward with Peace

Ultimately, accepting the unknown can lead to a profound sense of freedom. It opens up space for new perspectives and possibilities, allowing us to shift our focus from the questions we cannot answer to the experiences we can embrace. By letting go of the need for certainty, we can live more fully in the moment, appreciating the beauty and complexity of life as it unfolds. In this way, the journey of learning to let go becomes not just a means of coping, but a pathway to deeper understanding and personal growth.

In conclusion, while endings can be painful and filled with a myriad of emotions, they also hold the potential for growth and new beginnings. By embracing the lessons that come with these transitions, we can navigate our journeys with greater wisdom and a renewed sense of purpose. Life is a series of chapters, and each ending paves the way for the next exciting phase of our story.

Ending therapy and saying goodbye to clients 

"When you need me but do not want me, then I must stay. When you want me but no longer need me I must go" Nanny Mcphee

Ending therapy can be a profoundly challenging time for many individuals, not only for you as a client but also for your counsellor, who has dedicated considerable time and emotional energy to your journey. Throughout the weeks and months of therapy, you have cultivated a relationship built on trust, vulnerability, and mutual understanding. This bond often fosters a deep connection, allowing both you and your counsellor to explore complex emotions and experiences together. When it comes time to conclude this chapter, the emotional weight of such an ending can feel overwhelming. For many, endings can evoke feelings of anxiety, sadness, or even fear, especially if they have previously experienced a negative or abrupt ending in their lives. Those who have a tendency to avoid or run away from endings may find this process particularly daunting, as it forces them to confront the reality of change and the emotions that accompany it.

However, it is essential to recognise that endings can also be positive. While it may be difficult to say goodbye, these moments can signify celebration and achievement. An ending often represents the culmination of hard work, personal growth, and the progress you have made throughout your therapeutic journey. It can be a time to reflect on the milestones you have reached and the challenges you have overcome. Moreover, endings are not merely conclusions; they pave the way for new beginnings. They open doors to fresh opportunities, new experiences, and exciting paths that lie ahead. Embracing the idea that every ending is a precursor to a new beginning can help shift the focus from loss to potential.

What has prompted me to write this post today is my recent experience of concluding my time at a residential home where I have had the pleasure of working since January 2022. Initially, I began my placement at this home, but I was fortunate enough to continue my journey there as a mental health therapist. In this role, I have had the privilege of supporting individuals living with a diverse array of mental health challenges, addiction issues, and disabilities. Each day brought new opportunities for connection, understanding, and growth, not only for my clients but also for myself.

As I prepared to say goodbye, I found it incredibly hard to part ways with my clients, many of whom I have seen nearly every week since I started. The relationships we built were meaningful and transformative, filled with moments of laughter, tears, and profound insights. There have been some truly amazing memories created during my time there, from witnessing clients at their lowest points to celebrating their remarkable achievements and progress. These experiences have left an indelible mark on my heart and have reinforced the importance of the therapeutic relationship. Saying goodbye was not just about leaving a job; it was about acknowledging the shared journey and the impact we had on each other's lives.

Although this has come to an end my journey continues as a therapist and I am thrilled to announce that I will be taking on work with another company, where I will have the opportunity to apply the skills and insights I have gained over the years. This new role promises to challenge me in fresh ways and allow me to engage with a diverse clientele, further broadening my therapeutic practice. I look forward to collaborating with new colleagues, exchanging ideas, and learning from their experiences as well. This transition is not just a change of scenery; it represents a chance to deepen my understanding of therapy and to explore innovative approaches that can enhance the well-being of others.

In addition to this new professional endeavor, I am also committed to furthering my qualifications and expertise by applying for accreditation with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP). Achieving this accreditation is an important milestone in my career, as it will not only validate my skills and knowledge but also enhance my credibility as a therapist. The rigorous process of accreditation will allow me to reflect on my practice, ensuring that I adhere to the highest standards of professional ethics and competence. I am eager to embrace this challenge, as it will ultimately benefit my clients and the therapeutic community as a whole.

Creative supervision 

Moreover, I am excited to embark on training in creative supervision. This innovative approach to supervision emphasizes the integration of creativity into the therapeutic process, offering new tools and techniques that can enrich the supervision experience for both supervisors and supervisees. By engaging in this training, I aim to cultivate a more dynamic and engaging supervisory relationship, fostering an environment where creativity can flourish. This will not only enhance my own practice but also empower those I supervise to explore their creativity and develop their unique therapeutic styles.

I am poised to embrace new opportunities, pursue further qualifications, and delve into creative supervision, all of which will contribute to my growth as a mental health professional. I look forward to the challenges and successes that lie ahead, confident that each step I take will bring me closer to my ultimate goal of providing the best possible support to those in need.